Something I do when I have unfettered Internet access and plenty of free time is read Craigslist. I know, that makes me slightly uncool, but the "best of" makes me laugh more often than not, and sometimes I like to shop real estate or look for jobs in more politically progressive cities. But one of my favorite things is reading the "missed connections" section.
I didn't think lots of others did it, but my friend admitted to doing it so I don't feel so alone anymore. Now, I don't read them because I hope against hope that some strapping young man missed a connection with me. They're thoroughly entertaining, though, because someone is always a "vision," particularly if she is the leggy blonde with whom Mr. Connectionless made eye contact as she brushed past him in the cereal aisle of the grocery store. Mr. Connectionless wants to know what color her T-shirt was and what kind of cereal she was reaching for when The Moment happened, you know, just so he can make sure it's actually Ms. Wheaties and not some wacko who thinks he's actually her man.
I also get a chuckle when they're asking for a specific person. The headline is often something to the tune of "Looking for KELLY SMITH. where are you? i miss you?" and the poor girl is, like, the customer service specialist he spoke to when calling to inquire about one of his credit cards. Her voice was angelic. There was something, but he was afraid to act on it.
Actually though, I think it's all in vain. What are the odds that Ms. Wheaties will actually think, "Oh, who was that stunning single man who was trying to decide between name brand and generic raisin bran? Why didn't I talk to him? [Pause as she brightens, realizing there is hope.] Maybe he went looking for me on Craigslist! WHERE IS A COMPUTER?"
I think Mr. Connectionless creates this post in a desperate hope that some lame, single female (do not judge) reads these for giggles, sees his ad and instantly wants to have his children. That seems like greater motivation than actually finding Ms. Wheaties or KELLY SMITH.
I would like to find some statistics on the success of missed connections with the people who actually missed the connection, not the people who wished someone would a miss a connection with them. To be totally honest, it is kind of precious that Mr. Connectionless does this. Maybe he just didn't have the nerve to make a move when it would have mattered, you know? But really, I can't say I would be inspired to go get coffee or have dinner (or any other number of "dates" they suggest) with someone who used Craigslist's missed connections as the way to find me. I think I'd be really creeped out if some stranger tried to find me, period, but that's a different story.
Maybe I would sing a different tune if that actually did happen, but I'm just going to hope and assume it's not.
6/30/08
The great wall of ... idiocy
This weekend I stopped by Publix to get some cat food and other sundries, and while I waited in the line to check out, I noticed that the new issue of Time was out, so I picked up a copy. The main headline was "The Great Wall of America," and the story was about the wall going up between Mexico and the U.S., something I've been following for a while.
I put all my stuff, including the magazine, down to be scanned, and the check-out was doing her thing, when she picked up the magazine and exclaims, "America has a great wall? What?!" At first I thought she was kidding — people joke about things like this, I suppose. But she kept going with it, and then the girl who was bagging pulls the magazine out of the bag she just put it in and goes, "I thought only China had a great wall! What are they talking about?"
At this point I felt like it was only fair for me to intervene, so I told them the story was about the wall between Mexico and the U.S., and they looked at me in utter disbelief. They didn't seem to know that, yes, a wall/fence/barrier of some sort is being constructed in order to "reduce" illegal immigration.
Check-out girl laughed a puzzled little laugh, and bagger girl says, "Can't they just hop the fence? They think nobody's going to climb that wall? People's crazy and they'll climb anything!"
At that point I'd paid and attempted to gather up my stuff, but they were STILL carrying on, so I just stood there for a minute then said I had to go and walked away.
This is just so blatantly idiotic I don't even need to make fun of it. It takes care of itself.
4/21/08
Guns don't kill people; yes they do.
This week, some students at the University Tennessee will wear empty gun holsters to protest the laws and campus policies that prohibit the university community from carrying handguns on campus. Even if someone has a concealed handgun carry license, he or she still may not bring the weapon on a school campus.
Some students want to be permitted to carry a handgun as a form of self-defense, and "the only time you're authorized to shoot is when someone is attacking you," Nathan Robinson, a UT senior, told the Knoxville News-Sentinel.
Poetic.
Guns are just a bad idea on college campuses in so many ways.
Students are young and thus pretty irresponsible. So are most non-students, yes, but if thousands of foolish, brash 20-somethings can be prevented from carrying weapons, then I think they should be.
Put those guns in the context of any number of campus parties that take place on a weekend. At any given point on a Thursday, Friday or Saturday night, hundreds of students can be crammed into a fraternity house, a bar, a dorm — what happens if someone get belligerent and whips out a gun? What if someone's gun goes off accidentally? What if someone's gun gets stolen without them noticing?
If we lived in an ideal world, maybe concealed carry would be OK. But we don't live in an ideal world. College campuses are rife with drugs and violence, whether anyone wants to admit that. Add guns to the mix, and that's a scary climate. People get drunk all the time, people smoke or do other drugs; who's to say they're not going to get completely trashed, lose most/all/some sense of good judgment and shoot someone for the hell of it? What about petty bar fights? Or arguments that may not be very serious but could escalate quickly if someone pulled out a gun?
But then there's the other side: Would those 25 (reported) rapes on Tennessee campuses have occurred if the women had guns? (Would they have become more violent if the perpetrator did too?) Would killing sprees like the one at Virginia Tech be headed off if a student or professor could shoot an aggressor in self-defense or to protect others? Would robberies continue to decrease if people knew there was a greater threat to them for stealing something?
It's really naive and presumptuous, Mr. Robinson, to say that you're only authorized to shoot when someone is attacking you. That would never happen. It doesn't happen in the real world; why would college campuses be any different? Carrying guns won't add to campus safety; it would just make people more wary and on edge.
Vanderbilt has about 6,000 undergraduate students. If just half of them chose to carry handguns, that's 3,000 deadly weapons in the hands of irresponsible young adults in a very, very small area. Add to those numbers graduate students, faculty and staff, and the concentration of weapons would be pretty scary.
Allowing members of campus communities to carry guns just doesn't seem like it would reduce the risk of violent crime, theft, anything. If anything, it seems to me that it would increase an atmosphere of discomfort and just heighten distrust among students. The laws keeping guns off campus are there for a reason, anyhow.
Some students want to be permitted to carry a handgun as a form of self-defense, and "the only time you're authorized to shoot is when someone is attacking you," Nathan Robinson, a UT senior, told the Knoxville News-Sentinel.
Poetic.
Guns are just a bad idea on college campuses in so many ways.
Students are young and thus pretty irresponsible. So are most non-students, yes, but if thousands of foolish, brash 20-somethings can be prevented from carrying weapons, then I think they should be.
Put those guns in the context of any number of campus parties that take place on a weekend. At any given point on a Thursday, Friday or Saturday night, hundreds of students can be crammed into a fraternity house, a bar, a dorm — what happens if someone get belligerent and whips out a gun? What if someone's gun goes off accidentally? What if someone's gun gets stolen without them noticing?
If we lived in an ideal world, maybe concealed carry would be OK. But we don't live in an ideal world. College campuses are rife with drugs and violence, whether anyone wants to admit that. Add guns to the mix, and that's a scary climate. People get drunk all the time, people smoke or do other drugs; who's to say they're not going to get completely trashed, lose most/all/some sense of good judgment and shoot someone for the hell of it? What about petty bar fights? Or arguments that may not be very serious but could escalate quickly if someone pulled out a gun?
But then there's the other side: Would those 25 (reported) rapes on Tennessee campuses have occurred if the women had guns? (Would they have become more violent if the perpetrator did too?) Would killing sprees like the one at Virginia Tech be headed off if a student or professor could shoot an aggressor in self-defense or to protect others? Would robberies continue to decrease if people knew there was a greater threat to them for stealing something?
It's really naive and presumptuous, Mr. Robinson, to say that you're only authorized to shoot when someone is attacking you. That would never happen. It doesn't happen in the real world; why would college campuses be any different? Carrying guns won't add to campus safety; it would just make people more wary and on edge.
Vanderbilt has about 6,000 undergraduate students. If just half of them chose to carry handguns, that's 3,000 deadly weapons in the hands of irresponsible young adults in a very, very small area. Add to those numbers graduate students, faculty and staff, and the concentration of weapons would be pretty scary.
Allowing members of campus communities to carry guns just doesn't seem like it would reduce the risk of violent crime, theft, anything. If anything, it seems to me that it would increase an atmosphere of discomfort and just heighten distrust among students. The laws keeping guns off campus are there for a reason, anyhow.
4/6/08
Link-o-rama. Uh, sort of.
First things first (and this is long overdue), The New York Times last weekend had two articles on things near and dear to my heart.
One is about blogging and the potential benefits of that. Cough cough someonewhowantstogiveoutabookdealpleasetakenoticeofme cough cough. O.K., so maybe I'm not ready for a book deal. Give me a few years. But hey, if anyone sees this and wants to give me a job, that'd be just as good.
The other is about judging someone's date-worthiness based on his/her bookshelf. It's amazingly true. I love books, and reading is one of my favorite things in the world. If I can't talk about a book or an author with someone, I'm bored. They don't have to necessarily share my tastes to a T, but at least know who some of the literary greats are. Most of the names on my shelf aren't that obscure; some googling will tell you most of what you need to know. But really, I don't think I could ever be serious with someone who doesn't read. Or at least doesn't read books of substance. Yes yes, we all have different definitions of a "substantial" book, but anything labeled "Sci-Fi" or "Fantasy" doesn't fall under that umbrella for me. Then again, the people I know who read sci-fi or fantasy novels are prooooooobably not the kind of folks I'd date.
Pretentious, yes?
Another link that is less entertaining and not Times-related: Life Before Death. It's a series of photographs by German photog Walter Schels; he shot people while they were alive but in their final days and then again after they died. Each photo has a little blurb about the person, and most of them have cancer or another disease. It's pretty powerful, albeit a little morbid.
And to end on a happy note, please visit Hope is Emo (courtesy of E. Cofer). I thought it might be real, but it's not. Regardless, it's pretty damn funny. I wish it was more current and still happening, but good things never last. Hope would say that.
One is about blogging and the potential benefits of that. Cough cough someonewhowantstogiveoutabookdealpleasetakenoticeofme cough cough. O.K., so maybe I'm not ready for a book deal. Give me a few years. But hey, if anyone sees this and wants to give me a job, that'd be just as good.
The other is about judging someone's date-worthiness based on his/her bookshelf. It's amazingly true. I love books, and reading is one of my favorite things in the world. If I can't talk about a book or an author with someone, I'm bored. They don't have to necessarily share my tastes to a T, but at least know who some of the literary greats are. Most of the names on my shelf aren't that obscure; some googling will tell you most of what you need to know. But really, I don't think I could ever be serious with someone who doesn't read. Or at least doesn't read books of substance. Yes yes, we all have different definitions of a "substantial" book, but anything labeled "Sci-Fi" or "Fantasy" doesn't fall under that umbrella for me. Then again, the people I know who read sci-fi or fantasy novels are prooooooobably not the kind of folks I'd date.
Pretentious, yes?
Another link that is less entertaining and not Times-related: Life Before Death. It's a series of photographs by German photog Walter Schels; he shot people while they were alive but in their final days and then again after they died. Each photo has a little blurb about the person, and most of them have cancer or another disease. It's pretty powerful, albeit a little morbid.
And to end on a happy note, please visit Hope is Emo (courtesy of E. Cofer). I thought it might be real, but it's not. Regardless, it's pretty damn funny. I wish it was more current and still happening, but good things never last. Hope would say that.
2/17/08
Nice guys don't get paid.
In the spirit of Valentine's Day (everyone's favorite day!), I'd just like to say something that I've thought for a very long time: Nice guys don't finish last.
They don't. Contrary to the Green Day song, nice guys are actually highly sought after and rather nice to keep around. The problem is, guys who classify themselves as "nice guys" often are not. Per my observations, I've found them to be whiny saps.
The guys who all say "nice guys finish last, girls want a guy who's going to treat her like crap, girls need a chase and I just can't do that" blah blah blah tend to be wimps. Wimps are bad. Nice guys are good.
And if anyone is going be whining in a relationship, it's going to be me, capiche?
I've been whining a considerable amount in recent days since The Day of My Noose was Thursday, so I've tried to find people who will share in my misery. I can count on a few fellows I know to at least hate the day with me, but a couple really boo-hooed (not literally; there were no actual tears) about how they're great and they wanted a Valentine and they know girls who didn't get anything from the guys they're dating and that's not OK and they would treat a girl so well but they're too nice and they can never get anywhere, etc etc.
Please.
You think you're too nice? No such thing. Too whiny? Ding! I can't speak for all the other girls I know, but I don't want somebody to fall all over themselves for me. It's nice that the potential is there, believe me, but please don't actually do it.
And that whole "girls just want a guy who makes them work for attention" thing is a load of crap as well. I'll admit, a little hard-to-get is OK, but there's a line between "hard to get" and "please don't get me at all." Sometimes that line is hard to recognize, especially when a girl doesn't want to see it. But it's there and if a girl willingly ignores it, well, that's just something you handle on a case-by-case basis. But girls generally don't go seeking out guys who will run away from them unless they have issues (points at self).
But a chase is preferable to having everything you could ever want dropped in your lap (although there's a point where that starts to shift; I think I'm reaching it).
I don't guess I know how exactly to define a "nice" guy, but he's not whiny. And he's not a pushover. It varies per person, those characteristics are not positive attributes.
Let's shift subjects, shall we? Onto the stream-of-consciousness part of the post you might actually read:
Spring break is in two weeks. Everything for ASB is in order. I am beyond excited for my site and my girls.
Today there was a guy sitting outside Starbucks asking people for money, etc. One guy brought him inside, bought him coffee and a pastry, then sat with him for a while outside and talked to him. I stared half the time because I was so happy that people like that really do exist and also because I couldn't help but wonder if I'm big enough to do the same thing. I'm not. He came back in later and asked for a refill on his coffee, and whoever was working said they didn't do free refills, even though the barista that had left not long ago said she'd refill it for him. So he went back outside, where he stayed for about 15 minutes before leaving. I could have bought him coffee or said that Jami told him she'd refill for him, but I didn't. I thought about it. I don't know why I didn't, and I'm really mad at myself for not doing anything. I feel like a hypocrite sometimes because I'm in all these service organizations and I'll volunteer my life away, but I can't just buy some guy more coffee? Rarely am I disappointed in myself, but this time I am.
I wrote a story today. It was short and not my best, but I haven't written fiction in a few months. Before you ask, no, you may not read it. I feel better about my writing than I did a year ago, but that doesn't mean I want to share it. If I ever let someone read my stories, I'll probably marry them.
Speaking of getting married, WE is showing marathons of all my favorite bridal shows. I just watched "My Big Fat Fabulous Wedding," and some girl spent ... wait for it ... wait for it ... $775,000 OF HER NEW HUSBAND'S (who is about 50; she's like 20 I think) MONEY on the wedding. Her dress was $6,500. Holy god. For one day.
I'm going to the $99 David's Bridal sale and will be happy to have a cotton candy machine at the reception.
They don't. Contrary to the Green Day song, nice guys are actually highly sought after and rather nice to keep around. The problem is, guys who classify themselves as "nice guys" often are not. Per my observations, I've found them to be whiny saps.
The guys who all say "nice guys finish last, girls want a guy who's going to treat her like crap, girls need a chase and I just can't do that" blah blah blah tend to be wimps. Wimps are bad. Nice guys are good.
And if anyone is going be whining in a relationship, it's going to be me, capiche?
I've been whining a considerable amount in recent days since The Day of My Noose was Thursday, so I've tried to find people who will share in my misery. I can count on a few fellows I know to at least hate the day with me, but a couple really boo-hooed (not literally; there were no actual tears) about how they're great and they wanted a Valentine and they know girls who didn't get anything from the guys they're dating and that's not OK and they would treat a girl so well but they're too nice and they can never get anywhere, etc etc.
Please.
You think you're too nice? No such thing. Too whiny? Ding! I can't speak for all the other girls I know, but I don't want somebody to fall all over themselves for me. It's nice that the potential is there, believe me, but please don't actually do it.
And that whole "girls just want a guy who makes them work for attention" thing is a load of crap as well. I'll admit, a little hard-to-get is OK, but there's a line between "hard to get" and "please don't get me at all." Sometimes that line is hard to recognize, especially when a girl doesn't want to see it. But it's there and if a girl willingly ignores it, well, that's just something you handle on a case-by-case basis. But girls generally don't go seeking out guys who will run away from them unless they have issues (points at self).
But a chase is preferable to having everything you could ever want dropped in your lap (although there's a point where that starts to shift; I think I'm reaching it).
I don't guess I know how exactly to define a "nice" guy, but he's not whiny. And he's not a pushover. It varies per person, those characteristics are not positive attributes.
Let's shift subjects, shall we? Onto the stream-of-consciousness part of the post you might actually read:
Spring break is in two weeks. Everything for ASB is in order. I am beyond excited for my site and my girls.
Today there was a guy sitting outside Starbucks asking people for money, etc. One guy brought him inside, bought him coffee and a pastry, then sat with him for a while outside and talked to him. I stared half the time because I was so happy that people like that really do exist and also because I couldn't help but wonder if I'm big enough to do the same thing. I'm not. He came back in later and asked for a refill on his coffee, and whoever was working said they didn't do free refills, even though the barista that had left not long ago said she'd refill it for him. So he went back outside, where he stayed for about 15 minutes before leaving. I could have bought him coffee or said that Jami told him she'd refill for him, but I didn't. I thought about it. I don't know why I didn't, and I'm really mad at myself for not doing anything. I feel like a hypocrite sometimes because I'm in all these service organizations and I'll volunteer my life away, but I can't just buy some guy more coffee? Rarely am I disappointed in myself, but this time I am.
I wrote a story today. It was short and not my best, but I haven't written fiction in a few months. Before you ask, no, you may not read it. I feel better about my writing than I did a year ago, but that doesn't mean I want to share it. If I ever let someone read my stories, I'll probably marry them.
Speaking of getting married, WE is showing marathons of all my favorite bridal shows. I just watched "My Big Fat Fabulous Wedding," and some girl spent ... wait for it ... wait for it ... $775,000 OF HER NEW HUSBAND'S (who is about 50; she's like 20 I think) MONEY on the wedding. Her dress was $6,500. Holy god. For one day.
I'm going to the $99 David's Bridal sale and will be happy to have a cotton candy machine at the reception.
12/1/07
This goes to all my athletes in the struggle
In my state of doing absolutely nothing this evening, I happened across "For Love of the Game" on USA. It's a good movie because it's about sports, and it stars Kevin Costner. I don't know about you, but there is little more I could ask for from a motion picture.
I'm a sucker for any sports movie, even when the plot doesn't actually pivot on anything related to the sport in the movie.
Most sports movies make me cry too. I don't know why, but they're often terribly dramatic. Regardless, I'll watch them all day long.
On that note, I give you my favorite sports movies of all time. (Note: I didn't say best sports movies of all time. I said favorite. This has nothing to do with actual quality.)
10. "A League of Their Own"
9. "Coach Carter"
8. "Angels in the Outfield"
7. "Cool Runnings"
6. "For Love of the Game"
5. "Little Big League"
4. "Remember the Titans"
3. "The Sandlot"
2. "Little Giants"
1. "Love and Basketball"
Honorable mentions: "Air Bud," "Rookie of the Year"
Now take a minute to catch your breath after laughing at me.
I'm a sucker for any sports movie, even when the plot doesn't actually pivot on anything related to the sport in the movie.
Most sports movies make me cry too. I don't know why, but they're often terribly dramatic. Regardless, I'll watch them all day long.
On that note, I give you my favorite sports movies of all time. (Note: I didn't say best sports movies of all time. I said favorite. This has nothing to do with actual quality.)
10. "A League of Their Own"
9. "Coach Carter"
8. "Angels in the Outfield"
7. "Cool Runnings"
6. "For Love of the Game"
5. "Little Big League"
4. "Remember the Titans"
3. "The Sandlot"
2. "Little Giants"
1. "Love and Basketball"
Honorable mentions: "Air Bud," "Rookie of the Year"
Now take a minute to catch your breath after laughing at me.
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