A woman is sitting at a table near me talking to a dude about various topics. Here are a few of the things I've heard about this evening and a summary of her comments in parentheses:
Coffee (it gives her the shits, but she likes Frappucinos)
Faking orgasms (she used to with some guy and he TOTALLY realized it)
Asian porn (it's weird; Asian women look funny)
Pornography in general (the women scream like they're getting killed; she doesn't have it in her to scream like that even if it's good)
Pulling hair during sex (there's an art to it [dude chimes in: you've got to twist it around] so that it doesn't really hurt)
I can't keep doing this because I'm really getting upset. I need to go home. And hang out with my cats. BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT NORMAL PEOPLE DO.
(As I was getting ready to post this, the conversation took a horrible, horrible turn that I shan't disclose here because writing makes it too real, but suffice to say this whole talk made me a little bit glad that I'm single.)
UPDATE: OH MY GOD THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT CRAIGSLIST CASUAL ENCOUNTERS SECTION AND HOW THEY'VE RESPONDED TO ADS ON THERE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I BET THAT IS HOW THEY MET
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